Zilch
by Barefoot XO
Summary: Everyone claimed he was nothing, until they realised that nothing was a power in itself. Captured and modified by the government, the former Zeppo must discover who and what he was and will be. It really hurts to start out as a Zilch.
1. Weapon X

I don't own Buffy the Vampire Slayer or X-men. They belong to Joss Whedon and Marvel Comics respectively...

* * *

 ** _Weapon X Initiative ~ Area 51  
July 21st 2002_**

"What exactly do we have here, Agent Finn? I seem to recall hearing you state unequivocally that this particular young man had no abilities that might be harnessed for combating the mutant problem."

"That is precisely what we believed, Doctor. Every situation he was placed in appeared to confirm what we believed to be true. He seemed completely unremarkable."

"Then why have you detained a citizen of the United States and taken him to this facility, Agent? We do not need the President coming down on us for that sort of thing unless there is something we can show for it."

"Back in early 2001, just shortly after I broke away from the group, I observed an incident involving a troll hammer hitting the subject. It should have hurt him a great deal more then it did. The tool had some very powerful magics in it, you see."

"I do. It sounds like a fluke."

"As I thought, too. And so I let it lie. But this is the big one, Doctor. Less then a month ago the Red Witch went on the warpath. She was planning to end the world. We had snipers ready to take her out, it was that dicey. He stopped her."

"He stopped her? How?"

"He talked her down."

"Talked her down? What's his power, super-psychology?"

"No Doctor, you don't understand. While he was talking her down she hit him with bolt after bolt of magical energy. Virtually anyone you could name would have been killed. Maybe Agent Wolverine could have survived it what with his healing factor, but not many if any…"

"How is this possible?"

"We're speculating here. The problem with our speculation is that he hasn't been tested against mutants. We think he is immune to the direct application of powers, mutant and magical…"

"How much checking have you done...?"

"He's a mutant. Tests are conclusive for the M-gene. As I said, the power is so subtle that it's hard to quantify. Vampires can still affect him well because their powers of strength and speed affect themselves directly. The hurt they cause others through it is secondary."

"What about hypnosis? We know that Dracula managed to affect him."

"We are currently speculating that vampiric hypnosis is not a power, so much as it is a talent, like regular hypnosis. It would explain why so few vampires have access to it."

"Any other evidence?"

"Two-fold. First is the Judge incident. Drusilla's precognitive abilities should have seen the rocket launcher coming, but Xander was the only one who knew the plan until it was show-time. Also, one might note that magic in general tends to misfire spectacularly."

"The possessions?"

"He was too young. We think his powers only activate partway through his seventeenth year. He may have been a late bloomer."

"Interesting. What's his current designation?"

"Mutant 666. We're thinking for a codename we could use Zilch."

"Any other interesting abilities, outside of his talent for not being affected by abilities?"

"He seems to have an unusually dense bone structure. It would explain why he's lived so long without many broken bones. It also helps explain the troll's hammer a touch more. Even with the power neutralised, the hammer's weight was considerable and the troll was very strong."

"Makes sense… Anything else?"

"Not as yet."

"Keep studying him. We'll figure out what to do with him soon enough. Good job Agent Finn."

"Not a problem, Doctor Walsh…"

* * *

 ** _July 29th 2002_**

"What have you done so far?"

"We're working on heavy duty memory suppression and brainwashing. By the time we're done with him, he should be a fairly clean slate, completely loyal to us."

"How is it going so far?"

"The memory suppression is working beautifully. The brainwashing is troublesome, though. I think the hyena and soldier instincts are bleeding through and helping him to fight it."

"What would happen if we brought a mage in to complete the merging properly?"

"It would likely enhance his senses, reinforce his half-remembered military training, possibly render positive impacts on his speed and strength. The military training being further ingrained may also help to confer a sense of loyalty to the government and therefore the project by association."

"Get a mage in here then. Worst case is that we make him better then he was, even if the added loyalty doesn't take. Stop attempting to brainwash him for now. We'll get back to that trouble later if this doesn't do it for us. Make sure to complete his memory suppression though. It wouldn't do for his memories of the Initiative to contradict his new reality, would it?"

"Of course not, Doctor."

* * *

 ** _August 5th 2002_**

"Status report."

"Mutant 666 has had his memories fully suppressed. It would take extensive work by a skilled psychiatrist to even begin to dig up his memories. He's currently being kept in suspension to prevent a violent attack like we had with Wolverine back in the day."

"What about telepaths?"

"Irrelevant. No telepath can even touch his mind. He's a blank slate to them. There is no chance of restoring his memory except through extensive work and therapy."

"Excellent. What is the extent of this talent of his?"

"No ability may directly affect him. Magneto, for example, would be unable to affect the iron in Zilch's blood. However, Magneto would still be able to throw a set of metal steak knives at him?"

"Clothing?"

"There is a certain limited area affect element to his abilities which seems to affect his clothing somewhat."

"Fascinating."

* * *

 ** _August 19th 2002_**

Zilch awakened to find himself laid out on a strange table. There were machines connected to him, but they seemed to be non-functional. The lack of any type of light suggested a power outage. He could not begin to know, of course, that this had to do with a Brotherhood hit on the facility, hoping to retrieve Mystique. She had been recently captured by the government.

Zilch growled, something deep and primal compelling him to be free. A far more calm voice whispered to him about escape and evasion. Zilch himself knew only one thing. He was blowing this popsicle stand…

* * *

For the record, no Xander doesn't have any claws. I decided against that.

Maggie Walsh's presence will be explained later...

Jasper


	2. The Great Escape

I don't own Buffy the Vampire Slayer or the X-men. They belong to Joss Whedon and Marvel Comics respectively.

As of this fic's beginning, the events of X-men and X2 are considered canon. Anything introduced in X3 of X-men Origins is up for grabs to be changed, though elements can and will be used.

* * *

 _Weapon X Initiative ~ Area 51  
August 19th 2002_

Zilch crept quickly and quietly through the facility that had apparently been his prison for some time if the relative shakiness of his limbs was anything to go by.

Zilch fell back on the military training had picked up at… some place or other… and crept up on the nervous guard that was watching for anyone approaching the door. Luckily the guard was currently more concerned with the break in then a potential break out. A sleeper hold put the guard down easy and still kept him alive. Zilch wasn't sure what was going on and was hesitant to kill anyone until he had more details.

He glanced at a computer terminal and hesitated briefly before leaving it alone. After all, the electronics that had presumably been keeping him out had also probably nailed the computer systems. Besides, he didn't have any significant computer skills that he could recall and he had an escape to affect.

Zilch stared at the emergency exit. He knew those things were usually alarmed, but hopefully whatever had knocked out the building's electronics had also dealt with that little detail for him.

* * *

 _Weapon X Initiative ~ Area 51  
August 19th 2002_

Erik Lehnsherr strode purposefully to the cell of his number one confidante, Mystique. "Hello, Mystique. I believe it is time for you to leave this place."

The blue-skinned mutant grinned malevolently. "You're late." She paused dramatically before continuing. "You were right about Trask. He's definitely planning on going forward with the so-called Sentinel program. There are at least six more mutants in this building. I can't give you more then that without access to a computer."

Erik frowned faintly and regretted the necessity of hitting the building with EMP. The electronic security was just too prevalent and sophisticated to take on, especially with his prime intrusion and infiltration expert having been the one they were trying to retrieve. He sighed regretfully. "I suppose we shall have to find out the hard way. Pyro, perhaps you'd care to light the way…" Erik trailed off suggestively.

John smirked slightly. He loved th opportunity to show off his talents in a flashy way. He lit the flamethrower that was built into his armour and took control of the fire, sending a massive fireball at a door which was blown off its hinges by John's enthusiasm.

Erik smiled faintly. Young men were so easily amused. "Well done, my brother. Let's see who our first candidate is…"

The three mutants strode calmly into the next room of the Weapon X facility and glanced at the man in the cell.

Pyro snatched up a clipboard and glanced at it. "Mutant 631. Codename Havok. Says here that he has the ability to release projected energy blasts. Sounds a bit like Cyclops that way."

Erik nodded sagely. "I represent the Brotherhood of Mutants, Havok. I offer you freedom from this prison and the opportunity to avenge yourself on the humans who have done this to you."

Havok appeared to consider Erik's statement long and hard before nodding. "I'm with you. I've had my fill of putting up with this crap. It's long since time I had the chance to dish out a bit in return."

Erik used his abilities to unseal the metal-based restraints that kept Havok's powers at bay. Havok grinned and fired a blast out of one of his hands, slagging the door to his little prison. Erik withheld a smirk. Mutants did so love being able to free themselves, after a fashion. "I believe we have more mutants to visit before we leave. We must move swiftly."

A few moments more had them in front of cell number three. Pyro's voice echoed out again. "Mutant 637. Codename Avalanche. Apparently he's got the ability to generate seismic events." John whistled softly. "No wonder the guy is being kept sedated."

Erik nodded his agreement and they quickly woke up their perspective new recruit. A rather violent man by nature, Avalanche was more then willing to turn his disastrous power against humanity.

That brought them to cell number four. "Mutant 645. Codename Lady Mastermind." You could practically hear the satisfaction is John's voice. "A powerful telepath, currently being considered as Weapon X's answer to Charles Xavier."

Lady Mastermind was quickly recruited, as were the next two choices. Scarlet Witch and Quicksilver had been another part of Mystique's infiltration mission. Magneto had been hoping that by allowing herself to be captured, Mystique would be sent to the same place as his two missing children. It looked as if fate was smiling on him.

Mystique directed the lot downstairs to find the mutant who Weapon X had been currently working on. The other six (including Raven) had simply been held pending the completion of Mutant 666.

John glanced around the room and shrugged. "He's not here, boss."

Magneto let loose a metal sigh. John was a young man and could not help that he occasionally pointed out the blindingly obvious. Or, at least, that's what Erik told himself. "It appears Weapon X has once again misplaced their primary project. How very embarrassing for them. Ah well. We'd best get a move on. We cannot afford the time to track him down at this time."

* * *

 _Las Vegas, Nevada  
August 20th 2002_

Zilch smirked slightly as he slipped into a local store, picking up a new change of clothes to replace the fatigues that currently adorned his frame. It was amazing what you could accomplish when you looked and acted like you knew where you going. A little stolen paperwork and a decent story had gotten him on a troop truck that was headed out to Las Vegas to drop some troops of for some well deserved R and R. A quick trip to the bathroom and Zilch was in an entirely new outfit, only keeping his dog tags so as to remind him of what little identity he had.

Zilch glanced at the rest of the stolen money he had left. It wouldn't last long, meaning that he'd almost certainly have to liberate some more. Goodness knew he didn't dare try his luck at the casinos. The combination of the massive security features that would likely capture his image and send it back to whoever he had just escaped from and the uncertainty of luck was more than enough to quell any urge he had to try. Zilch narrowed his eyes. He couldn't figure out where he had learned half of the things he apparently knew, but one of them was the dangers of gambling. He shrugged it off.

Zilch slipped into a seat in a low class fast food joint and ordered a burger. While he waited for his order, he considered his options. Official channels were out. The place he was in had definitely been a military facility. His training, however he had acquired it, had told him that much. That struck anything official since he didn't know who he could trust there. Friends were out too. If he had any of those he certainly didn't remember them.

Zilch's eye caught the television which was discussing the controversy about mutants and about a place called Xavier's School for Gifted Youngsters, which was reputedly a haven for these very controversial beings. Zilch snatched up his dog tags and looked at them again. _Mutant 666_. Zilch smirked. He was a mutant. That made Westchester, New York his next big stop…

* * *

This was the only way I could consider Xander going other than the Brotherhood. The problems with the Brotherhood are multiple, some of them including the fact that both Xander and the soldier would disapprove of their tactics...

Jasper


End file.
